


In A Bind

by MutantRiot



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Chest Binding, Erik is a Sweetheart, Gender Issues, M/M, Trans Charles Xavier, Trans Erik Lehnsherr, trans love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:35:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22213411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MutantRiot/pseuds/MutantRiot
Summary: Erik's binder is hurting him, and Charles happens to notice. Trans love blooms, and both of our favs become a little more comfortable in their own skin.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	In A Bind

**Author's Note:**

> I love trans head-canons, and as a non-binary trans person, they're very close to my heart. I hope you all enjoy it! 
> 
> BTW, I used the tag M/M simply for ease of categorization :)

“Are you okay?” Charles asked, cocking his head to the side as he watched Erik fiddle with his shirt. 

“Yeah… Just, uh, itchy.” 

“You look like you’re in pain, Erik.” 

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Gonna run to the bathroom real quick.” 

Erik jumped off Charles’ bed and made a beeline for the hall bathroom. The Velcro on his binder was digging into his skin, and it was the worst. He’d probably been wearing it too long, and it was a really scratchy fabric. He wished he could just take it off and look nice and flat, but with his chest size, that wasn’t an option.

He locked the door and whipped his shirt off to expose the fraying grey binder that forced his chest into submission, sometimes rather shoddily and painfully. Today was one of those days. Turning away from the mirror, he unclasped the garment, ribs sighing in relief. His skin was red, and he could tell that one of the hooks had twisted and wasn’t too far from drawing blood.  _ Fuck… _ He knew he shouldn’t put it back on, but he didn’t really have a choice. Charles didn’t know he was trans, and coming out always came with the possibility of rejection… He was positive that wouldn’t happen - Charles was non-binary himself - but anxiety wasn’t logical. 

As he was about to wrestle the binder back on, there was a knock at the door. Instinctively, Erik’s arms flew around his chest, but no one entered. 

“I put your hoodie outside the door,” Charles said. “You wanna put it on then come back to my room?” 

“Um,” Erik replied, voice shaking. “Y-yeah, be right there.” 

“Okay.” 

He waited until he heard Charles’ door shut before sticking an arm out of the door and yanking his sweatshirt inside. Charles knew. He’d figured it out… Christ. Erik pulled his binder off and sighed. He was facing the mirror now, his whole upper half exposed to the pane of glass that formed his image. He knew intrinsically his body didn’t define him, but goddamn did it feel like it. He closed his eyes and finished dressing blind, shoving his binder into the front pocket of his sweatshirt. Dysphoria wasn’t too gentle. 

Erik’s heart raced as he opened the door. He didn’t want to face Charles. What if he asked questions? What if he was hurt that he hadn’t told him? What if he didn’t want to be friends anymore? The walk down the hall seemed to take an eternity. He didn’t want to do this… 

“Hey,” Charles said from behind his laptop as Erik walked into his room. “What size do you wear?”

“What?” 

“I suppose that’s probably a rude question actually, sorry. I’m looking at binders.” 

“Oh… Why?” 

“I think you need a new one.” 

Erik felt his heart leaping into his throat as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

“These all look really cool. They come in a bunch of different nude colors too. Which do you think would be a better fit? I’m thinking probably this one.” Charles spun his laptop around and pointed to one from the collection of binders. 

“Um, I dunno.” 

“You don’t need to be embarrassed, Erik.” 

“You’re not mad?” He asked, eyes wandering around the room. 

“Dude, what?” Charles stuttered, looking surprised. “No? Why would I ever be mad?” 

“I don’t know… I figured you would have liked to have known… I should have told you.” 

“I’d never think of asking you to out yourself. I knew you’d tell me when you were ready.” 

“H-how’d you know?” 

“I know a lot of trans people. And I’m trans. I get it.” 

“But it’s different…” 

“I know. And you don’t have to explain anything you don’t want to,” Charles said softly. “I just want you to be safe and comfortable, and the binder you have right now doesn’t seem to be either of those things, yeah?”

“I guess not…” 

“Can I buy you some better ones?” 

“You don’t have to do that. I have money!” 

“Erik, I want to.” 

He knew Charles was calling his bluff in his own kind, respectful way. The Lehnsherrs didn’t have too much money, and he had saved up for his shitty binder for a while… Charles’ family however was wealthier than Erik could possibly imagine, and Charles also had a well-paying job. If he was offering resources, Erik knew he needed to accept, no matter how embarrassing it was. 

“There’s a sale too,” Charles added. “If we buy two, we’ll get a third 50% off. That’s a steal! How about you pick out two for everyday wear, and then one for swimming? It’ll have to be a size bigger.”

“I… Um, okay,” Erik nodded, trying to tamp down the guilt boiling in his stomach. “Are you sure this is okay? I don’t want to make you pay for my stuff…” 

“I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it. There aren’t any caveats, no strings attached. You’re my friend. I’m doing what anyone would do if they could.” 

“You’re amazing…” 

“I’m really not. I just like you a lot, and I don’t want you in pain.” 

Erik smiled, looking away. Charles was so cute and nice, it was so hard to hide his feelings for him. They were the only trans people at their high school (that they knew of anyway), and neither of them were open about it. They’re found each other by chance, and as Erik scanned the website, looking for the perfect shade of nude, he felt his heart palpitating. Erik never considered dating people who weren’t women in a long time, but Charles was such a beautiful soul. He was the second person that Charles had come out to (the first being his sister Raven), and Erik’s mom had made him a skirt for his birthday. He was only able to wear it when he was over at Erik’s house, but it looked so beautiful on him.  _ He _ was beautiful. Erik wanted to be with him always. Even more than friends… 

They ordered the binders and then browsed online for movies. Erik was spending the night, and they always watched movies and ate popcorn on Charles’ couch in the basement of his huge house. Once the movie ended, and they’d moved back to his room, Charles could sense there was an awkwardness in the air, but he couldn’t place it. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked, gently tapping Erik’s shoulder. 

“What?” Erik jumped, startled from his musings on his best friend. 

“Are you okay? You seem like you’re somewhere else.” 

“Oh, um, no! I’m good, I promise. I was wondering if you wanted to play Uno. I brought it over, it’s one of my favorite games.” 

“Sure! I love Uno!” 

Erik grinned and rifled through his backpack to find the card game. 

“Sorry I’m weird,” he said as he shuffled the deck. “I’m just in a gross spot with dysphoria and shit, you know?” 

“No need to apologize, my friend! I know those dysphoria feels. I’m binding in my own way too.” 

“Really? You bought a… um, a gaff?” 

“No, well, I didn’t buy it. I made it. It doesn’t work too well, but it keeps everything in place.” 

“Be safe, okay? Those things can hurt you real bad.” 

“I know, thank you,” Charles nodded, accepting his first 7 cards. 

“I just want you to know that I’m really competitive,” Erik laughed as the game began, and Charles was already down to 4 cards. 

“Yeah? So am I,” his friend smirked, biting his lip in a way that made Erik’s stomach drop. God, he was hot. Erik felt something in him stirring, and a blush rose to his cheeks.  _ Not now! _

“Your move, Erik.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” he played his hand, and Charles declared Uno shortly afterwards. 

The tension was palpable when Charles laid down his last card with a grin. Erik felt like there was a fire burning inside him, and if it didn’t stop soon, it’d engulf him completely. 

“Are you sure you’re alright, my friend?” Charles asked again, this time tapping Erik’s knee as he stared blankly at his cards. “Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“Fuck, I don’t know… Like I want to, but I’m so scared. I don’t want to mess things up, ya know?” 

“Hmm, what are you suggesting?”

“I think I’m in love with someone, but I’m scared to tell them.” 

Charles smiled, pale cheeks glowing crimson. 

“Erik, if it’s me, it’s okay.” 

“W-What?” Erik stuttered, head jerking up to look into Charles' exquisite blue eyes. 

“I’ve heard that story before. If you like me, it’s okay. You can tell me anything. I’m never going to judge you. I love you too, it’s not a secret.” 

“You do…?” 

“Of course. There’s so much to love.” 

“But… I thought you liked Moira!” 

“I did, but then I realized that no matter what I did, I’d just couldn’t shake the thought of you. You’re such a beautiful soul, Erik. I think you’re stunningly handsome and sweet and kind.” 

“I think all the same about you! You’re just perfect in every way,” Erik replied emphatically, his eyes wide with surprise. 

“I’m certainly not, but I appreciate the sentiment.” 

“You’re perfect to me.” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

“Of course!” 

Charles leaned in and pressed his lips against Erik’s. Erik kissed back, reveling in his first kiss since transitioning. He thought he’d never find someone who’d accept him. He thought he’d be alone forever because no one would ever date a trans guy like him. But here he was, a trans man being kissed by a non-binary trans person in their own bedroom. 

“I...I never thought I’d get this far,” Erik whispered as they both pulled away for air.

“You mean kissing while trans?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re an incredibly handsome guy, I don’t know how anyone could resist.” 

“It’s just dysphoria, I guess. Plus all the shit you see on Instagram and Reddit and stuff. It’s scary.” 

“Oh sure!” Charles agreed, propping himself up against the pillows and gesturing for Erik to join him. “It scares me too. I’m just really glad to have you in my life.” 

“Me too,” Erik blushed, curling up next to Charles and scooting closer to him. Charles put his arm around him and held him tightly. 

“I love you, Erik.” 

“I love you too, Charles, so much.” 

“As you are.” 

Erik swallowed, very aware of how obvious his chest was at that particular moment. Charles didn’t seem to notice, but it was there, out and free, not strapped down at his armpits. 

“Can I ask you something?” Charles questioned, turning to look down at Erik whose heart skipped a beat. 

“Of course,” he nodded. 

“Are you comfortable not wearing your binder?” 

“Um, I don’t know, yes and no. Physically, yeah, I’m definitely more comfortable, but mentally and emotionally, I’m eh.” 

“Would you prefer if I didn’t acknowledge your chest at all? Like I don’t want you to think I’m weirded out by it or don’t like it or think less of you for it. You’re a man to me, 100%.” 

“No, it’s okay. I’m really trying to get more comfortable with it. T has really helped, it’s brought me down about an inch!” 

“That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!” 

“Can I ask  _ you _ a question?” Erik was nervous but he wanted to know more about Charles and his gender. 

“Sure, ask away!” 

“Um, do you have dysphoria? And do you, uh, prefer any other pronouns over he/him?” 

“I do. It’s less body dysphoria and more social, you know? I’m more comfortable with myself physically than a lot of binary trans people I know, but it’s the way people perceive me that makes me uncomfortable. As for pronouns, I don’t know. I’m thinking of switching to they/them, but I’m not sure and I’m scared. I feel like no one will understand me, and I’ll just get misgendered if I try…” 

“I know it’s scary, but do you think you’d be happier if people used they/them?” 

“Mhm,” Charles nodded, eyes watery blue orbs staring into Erik’s storm grey ones. 

“Okay, then I’ll start using they/them whenever it’s safe! You know what that makes you?” 

“What?” 

“My theybie.” 

“Aah!” Charles grinned. “I’m theybie.” 

“You are.” 

“I love you. Thank you.” 

“I love you too.” 

“It feels good to be with someone.”

“It really does. To really be myself with someone is special.” 

“Yeah, it really is.” 

Charles and Erik laid in bed, fingers intertwined as they talked until the sun started peeking out at the horizon, and Erik started yawning every other sentence. 

“You wanna go to bed, handsome?” Charles asked, kissing Erik’s cheek softly. “You look tired.” 

“Mhm,” he nodded, eyes fluttering closed. “I wanna cuddle with you.” 

“Okay, let’s get under the covers.” 

Charles fetched an extra pillow from their closet and laid it out next to their own for Erik, who sleepily slumped on it, waiting for his partner to join him. 

“I’m hot,” he muttered and pulled off both his sweatshirt and t-shirt. “Is it okay if I sleep like this? Just pretend I’m flat.” 

“O-of course!” Charles stammered, in awe that Erik was comfortable enough to bare himself like that. “Anything you want.” 

“Just you. Hold me please.” 

Charles happily obliged, drifting off into sleep with the boy of their dreams in their arms. 


End file.
